My Labyrinth

It's 8:47 on a Saturday night, and I am blogging so that I don't fall asleep on the couch watching The Beard play his NHL game on his xbox.  (We're a hip couple, don't you think?)

I feel like I've experienced a few struggles this week.  First, it is SO much harder than I thought it would be to get all of my protein in every day.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get 90-100 grams of protein in a DAY?  To give you an idea, if you didn't know, one OUNCE of meat (chicken, beef, etc) is only 7. That's like eating 13-17 ounces of chicken a day.  That's a lot of damned chicken. My doctor suggested Jimmy Dean turkey sausage links for breakfast.  That's great, but THREE links are only 12 grams total. That's pretty much a full breakfast for me on it's own, and only 1/3 of my protein for that meal.

So, I've been doing protein bars lately, and been trying to get some protein powders to supplement as well. A few years ago I tried protein powders and could only find one brand that didn't make me want to puke it right back up.  They've come out with roughly a bazillion new flavors since then, in a formula that is supposed to essentially dissolve into the water instead of making it shake-like, and one scoop is almost one full meal's worth of protein for me.  So, I called around to Vitamin Shoppe's in my area (they're the only store that carries this brand) and the one in Short Pump had a few sample/one use size packs of a small portion of the flavors, so The Lahore and I went on an out-of-the-way protein powder gathering adventure today.  I also noticed, while I was there, that they carry the brand of bars that I really like, which was awesome.  The Beard and I are going to try a few of the flavors of the powder, and I'll go buy a jug or more.  I just really didn't want to drop like $30 on a jug of powder and hate it.  So we'll try it, and move on from there.  I'll also know that I can get my bars from there in the future, so I don't have to pay for them individually at WAWA like I have been! 

I really didn't want to do "meal replacement" type things during this process, but I think at least at  this point I'll need to.  Mostly just because I HAVE to have it, and eating more on top of that would just be way too much for me.  I just can't eat/drink all of that in one day, plus all the water I need since my blood tests came back showing that I'm pretty dehydrated.  So, I gotta do what I gotta do, and once I can decrease my protein intake I will rely less on these measures, and more on real food. 

I'm also struggling with that whole "I want/need to see results/have some reassurance that this is working" thing.  I hasn't even been a full week yet, I know.  But I just want it so bad.  I want to know if my changes are working, and waiting until next month is pretty much killing me.  I'm having small victories like being able to wear my engagement ring again (it was tight, so I left it off and just wore my wedding band), so I think that small thing makes me want or need to see something bigger.

Patience is NOT my best thing.  Can you tell?

So, I've got to work on that.  Finally, I think my third major rough spot this week (which is such a first world problem) is that I have decided to get my first tattoo at my 1/2 goal weight loss point, but I can't figure out WHAT I want.  I want something small and simple on the inside of my right wrist.  Something that just symbolizes the change that I am going through, and the new beginning.  I found this beautiful symbol on Pinterest, which was said to mean "new beginnings."  Upon further research, however, it apparently is from some person who believes that angels came to visit her and taught her this form of "angelic shorthand."

 ..... wh... what?

I so don't want that on my body.  As beautiful as it is, if I put something on my body, I want it to be something real, something that has stood the test of time, or something that I came up with on my own.  So I've been looking online for days, trying to figure out what I want.  I keep coming back to the skull and crossbones, but I have bigger plans for that elsewhere, so I'm still stuck.  Any ideas would be hugely appreciated. I've also thought of a Celtic labyrinth, but I don't want something as big as it would need to be. 

In my research, I learned that a Celtic labyrinth is different from a maze.  Unlike the best movie EVER with David Bowie in it, a maze has lots of dead ends, twists and turns, etc.  You are SUPPOSED to get lost in it.  A labyrinth, on the other hand, has only one path and begins where it ends.  It is supposed to, essentially, help you find yourself.  It's such a beautiful notion that I think I might just have to put that somewhere else on me.  That might be my third or forth tattoo ;)

So I'm going to try and keep the negatives from getting me down.  I had a fantastic Lady Date with The FirstLove at Sweet Frog yesterday, and got errands done and helped The Lahore dig up her front lawn and replant a pretty little flower garden today.  I got a little bit of sweetness yesterday, and then today got my workout on and got plenty of good 'ol Vitamin D.  Then tonight I had dinner with The Beard, and we're now relaxing.  What could be better?

I have to make the best of things as they come.  It gets hard, but the trick is to just take a step back, realize that mistakes, missteps, and periods of frustration are normal, and happen to everyone all of the time.  It's what we learn from it and where we go from there that really matters.