One Month at a Time

Today was the day - my monthly weigh in with my doctor.  I know I wrote yesterday about being freaked, and it didn't go away.  Admittedly, them making me wait an extra 30 minutes because they were running behind didn't help things.  I am many things, but a patient person is not one of them.

As you may know, my goal for this month was to lose another 12 pounds.  I lost 13 in the first month, so I figured I could do it again.  25 pounds in two months would be amazing.

Sadly, I did not end up meeting my goal this month.  I saw my number and my heart dropped.  This time, there was no spike of excitement, no realization that I suck at math and really did much better than I originally thought.  There was only disappointment. 

I hadn't reached my goal.  I only lost six pounds.  

Half of my goal. 

As I sat there, supremely disappointed, the nurse told me that I had done a fantastic job.  Nineteen pounds lost in only two months!  Not only that, but my BP is fantastic, and I've lost 3 BMI points, and 7% of my total body weight.  Isn't that great??

Even with all of that, I wanted to cry again, but this time they weren't happy tears.  Thankfully, I managed to hold them back, and while I waited for the doc, I texted The Beard:

Me: Only 6 pounds :(
Beardo: Yeah ONLY 6 pounds....
Me: My goal was 12, remember?

Beardo: Yeah so... you still LOST weight

Conversations with my Mom, my dad, my step-mom, my two best bitches, (and another conversation with The Beard where I say I feel like I'm being an asshole to myself about this, and him agreeing) later, and I'm getting over myself. 

They're all right, of course.  I've lost six more pounds, nineteen total!  That's no small feet within two months.  Actually, it's pretty (excuse my French) fucking amazing.  I've never accomplished that before.  Now, I just have to kick it into high gear.  No more skipping the working out portion of the weight loss journey.  I've gotten the resistance bands out, and am going to pull out our Beach Body videos, and we'll start tomorrow. 

No more forgetting my meds, no more being a lazy wretch.  No more not buying my protein supplements because they're so damned expensive (For real though, it's ridiculous)  I've committed myself to this, and I will continue to succeed.  This month, though I still made progress, losing only half of my goal has just added fuel to my fire.  I don't want another disappointing month, though I know they will come, as my Dad told me today, "Your body is going to fight you the entire way.  Just don't let it win." 

All I can do is learn from the past 30 days, make adjustments, and move forward.

All I can do is take one month at a time.